In life we sometimes have to be the bigger person despite not feeling like we can be that person. And it’s okay if your bigger person is the person that stays at a distance. Not everyone that has hurt us is supposed to be let back in.
Yes, pray for them.
No, don’t allow yourself to be in a position where they have the power to hurt you again.
I was told that I had to be the bigger person in a situation but I realized a few things, it’s okay to be my own kind of bigger person. My bigger person is smaller, meeker, but loving and present. My bigger person texts rather than calls because calls usually end with me in tears and Jim livid. My bigger person says I love you and I care through checking in because I love you and I care are not heard well from the other person. My bigger person is patient and gives grace.
I don’t fully know this newly created person yet, but I like her. She is vibrant and sure of the love she gives out. She cries less and loves more.
The person I am being a bigger person with is walking through some health issues right now and I find myself now being more concerned with their well-being and less worried about how I am going to approach them. Ya’ll, I found freedom in my spirit to love on my own terms.
Stepping back allowed me to lean in love. Giving the bigger me the space to press in with love has not been easy, it’s entirely new to me. But if you are like me and need to be a new kind of bigger person here are a few tips.
Don’t rush it- Allow your words to be few and meaningful rather than many and worthless.
Don’t push who you are on them- I love Jesus but I don’t know if they do so my Jesus talk is left to talking to Jesus but my Jesus love is spread through my simple words.
Keep your expectations low- I know this is countercultural, but if you are dealing with a surly individual that tends to be mean for the sake of it then don’t expect hearts and flowers back.
Accept that you did your best- no matter their response know that YOU stepped up, leaned in, and loved even if you hit a brick wall.
I pray that when you need your bigger person that these tips are helpful. Love big because love breaks down even the hardest of moments and people.