As I said in my last post Zack got a car! We are fully and freely mobile which has been fantastic! He got the car on a Thursday and by Monday we were on our first mini road trip to St. Augustine. Our boys had never really experienced much of the city that Jim and I called home for almost a decade.
I was navigator and while I know some of you are making the blind girl jokes about navigating I will say this for myself: I have an uncanny ability to know directions and none of it has to do with a GPS.
We chose that Monday for a specific purpose.
That Monday was in the middle of a yearly, two-week long dedication to aborted babies. 4,000 crosses are put out on the grounds of Mission Nombre de Dios by the St. Gerard Campus.
As a teenager I remember going to visit the site with youth group friends. Our instructor would have us “find our cross” which meant we started at the bottom left corner and went across the row the number of months in our birthday, then we went up the how many days into the month our birthday fell, then across again the number of years. So for me, my birthday is 2/15/80, I went across 2, up 15, and across again 80. The 80th cross was mine to stop and pray over.
Fast forward 20 years I am back at that corner cross explaining to my own children how to find their crosses, the significance of these crosses, and why honoring them by praying over them is important. The emotion that came with standing there with my own family is hard to describe. Zack was unplanned, I was 18 and still in high school, my amazing son could have very easily been the product of the same decision that brought about the end of many other baby’s lives.
Life is important. Let me say it this way: ALL LIVES MATTER.
I was the last to be done (because I was the last to start, I stopped to snap a pic, duh!) but on my way to catch up to my family I heard my wise husband say to Zack that “these crosses don’t represent bad people, but poor choices. Anyone can make a poor choice, not everyone is bad.” So much wisdom in his words! As we push and pull to raise kids that appreciate life, that spread their love, and give freely to others I am reminded that not everyone knows they have choices. Not everyone feels like they are celebrated and free in their own homes, in their own skin.
Sometimes it’s not about the people around us but the person that lives in our heads, us. We are often our worst enemies. We shout ourselves down with lies.
Now, before anyone bashes me I do want to point out that not all abortions are as simple as loving yourself and your baby. I get it. See, amongst the 4,000 crosses are some that have a red on them. Those are the ones that get me. Those count for babies aborted after a rape. Those poor Mamas and babies! Both forever changed by someone else’s selfish decision. Pray for them.
We are not defined by the choices we make, but we are defined by what we choose to do with them. If we learn and grow from them then we’ve won. But if we just walk by, don’t say a prayer, don’t love just a little longer then nothing is won and even more is lost.