“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
If you’ve spent any time near me at all you know how much I value the friendships that I have. I am truly blessed by the women in my life. Strong, loving, Godly women that I consider both sisters in Christ and silly co-conspiraters of brightening humanity.
But, yes there is a but.
It wasn’t always this way. Several years ago I was struggling with the loneliness my soul was experiencing. At the time I lacked the friendships that I have now. Sure I had friends and my amazing family, but something was just missing. I couldn’t really put my finger on it other than to say I was missing something deep and important.
Each day in prayer Jesus met me there as I cried real, ugly tears about not having the type of friend that Proverbs 27:17 spoke of, one that sharpened me and I them.
Not sure if you know it or not but sometimes prayers are answered in the most unlikely of places.
On a parenting site, just trying to survive the toddler years.
In the dorms, trying to survive dorm living and drama.
In the school parking lot as we waited for a late field trip bus to arrive.
Serving in the 3 and 4 year old room at church.
Through a mutual friend.
Through your own kids.
Friendship is not limited by age, race, background or anything else but by heart…heart has to be involved. One of my youngest friends is 12. Yep. Sweetest little woman! One of my oldest friends is a sweet friends Mama. Sweetest little woman, too! For a bit of irony, the younger one is taller than me and the older one is shorter than me.
Each friend has a place in my heart and in my life. No, I don’t talk to them all often but with each of them we pick up right where we left off. Daily isn’t as important as is knowing who is always in your corner.
Who is in your corner?
Knowing who is in your corner is less about the pretty and more about the practical. When you have friends in your corner they don’t say what you want to hear but tell you what you NEED to hear. The hard things said in love are easier pills to swallow.
My corner has some amazing women in it.
Each week after a new blog post goes live I text one of my friends to let her know the new post is up. I don’t do this to gain readers but because she has expressed a desire for me to let her know so she does not miss a post. I always know when she’s read it because my phone BLOWS UP. Her encouragement is extraordinary! She’s in my corner.
When I am stressing a situation or just simply being silly over the unknown things another friend lovingly tells me to get my head out of my rear and just do it. She knows I need to hear that. She’s in my corner.
When I just need to laugh and enjoy a simple moment of jokes and rest in being near someone that has known me since my teens I have a friend for that too. She’s in my corner
When I need to be reminded of what I know. When I need to hear the promises of God laid out and my name added into their realities my other friend is there to bring those truths to me with wisdom, some laughter and even sometimes tears. She’s in my corner.
Granted these friends can’t always fix my problems but they do lighten the burden. Sweet friends, I encourage you to cultivate true, kindred friendships! Find those that make your heart happy to think of them.
Let me also encourage you to be that friend. You are not the only one in a friendship walking through storms. Make sure your shadows don’t overshadow your friends needs.
In the end, you need to have friends in your corner and be a friend in someone else’s corner.