2 years ago this summer we moved from Ocala to Ormond Beach so Jim could go to RT school. The move was prayed over, calculated and planned in every way possible. We transitioned from our 3/2 house of 16 years to a 2/2 apartment. We lost a considerable amount of living space. Though we did gain walk in closets, linen closets and large bathrooms we lost room for each of us to be able to get away. To find our own space to just be.
As the two years have gone by we’ve done like every other family. we accumulated more stuff. School stuff, craft stuff, kitchen stuff, video games and even books (despite Jim’s attempt to keep my book collection to my kindle but I like holding a book).
With the knowledge that our time in Ormond was limited to Jim’s school years we started collecting empty boxes for our move back home. These boxes were just being stacked in our room for later use. We essentially had a wall of boxes next to a bookshelf because… well just because I love books.
I began to hate our room. A space that I should love I couldn’t hardly be in longer than it took to go to sleep. I didn’t know why, I knew it had nothing to do with Jim, it just was uncomfortable for me. Finally I asked Jim to help me move the bookshelf into my study area in the dining room and break down the empty boxes.
Can I just tell you it was an instant relief! I felt caved in on and I had no idea! Mount Boxes is gone and I can relax in my room again!That’s why I was unsettled in my room, I wasn’t using the space properly!
Suddenly I feel an urge to purge. Clean out all the closets of the old and unused. Empty the cute wicker baskets of the unneeded. Even my soul is getting a deep cleaning!
Apparently Simply Tuesday impacted me more than I realized.
The corner that held Mount Boxes is being transformed into my bible study place. My heart’s desire is to create a space like the one Jesus refers to in Matthew 6:6, a secret place.
When you pray, go to your room and close the door. Pray privately to your Father who is with you. Your Father sees what you do in private. He will reward you.
I’m looking for a small, used, inexpensive desk for the space. In my heart I see a small area that houses a lamp, my journal and bible. It doesn’t have to be flashy; actually I’d prefer it isn’t flashy at all because that’s nothing but a distraction to me. I’d like to get a ribbon board to put some pictures in that space too so I can see the faces of those I love, those I am praying over.
It’s like removing those boxes from that space removed blinders. I’m learning to pay attention to what bothers me. What distracts me. What calls me, the good and the bad. Seeing those things I am hoping will remind me to find Him in the middle of them too.
I’ve proven on countless occasions that I can’t do this life apart from Him (and neither can you). He doesn’t need me, he wants me and I need Him. I am the woman at the well needing of a water that only Jesus can give. I am seeking the living water right in the midst of my chaos because I know He’s not scared off by my mess. In fact, I don’t think He’d recognize me if I wasn’t a mess because I am SO loved (John 3:16).